Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

Last Updated: 02.07.2025 01:01

Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I have a reading level above third grade

I have complete contempt for traitorism

"Which K-pop idols do you find breathtakingly beautiful?"

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I understand how hurricane paths work

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It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

What unique academic programs does IILM University offer?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

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It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

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I can read

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

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I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

What causes tension between liberals and conservatives? Is it purely based on ideological differences or are there other factors at play?

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

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I actually pay taxes

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

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I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I can count

Is it wise to choose your family over your honor?

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I see through liars

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t cotton to rapists

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I know who the president of Turkey really is